This made me smile...and think...

I apologize to any and all who already saw this on my Facebook. My friend posted this today. It is DEFINITELY not my own and I hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting it, but this did make me think and I wanted to share with you my deep (and not-so-deep) thoughts.

So, here's the deep thoughts--How and when and why did we ever get to the point that inspirational sayings make or break us? Beautiful pictures and sayings with rainbows and unicorn poop that make us feel good about ourselves...or at least, feel good about the crap happening in our lives?

Are we reduced to placations and platitudes? Is that what we've come to? And when others are also in a mess, do we think these help them? Are we helping the situation or trying to make ourselves feel better? And what's the problem if it's both?

We live in a "hi-fine" society, wherein when someone asks how we are, we feel compelled to say "fine". But what if it's not fine? I learned a while ago that I have the tendency to encapsulate my feelings. It works for survival, but is lousy for friendship. Those who have broken through my self-preservation realize that I say I'm fine when I'm not. I start spewing placations and platitudes, enough to start up any self-loathing that I've worked through in therapy.

So I have discovered that life here is not always good. Shocker, huh? And so it goes, some well-meaning person says something like "Don't worry...everything that happens passes through the arms of God"...as if that's supposed to make me feel better when my life falls apart. Or, "Hey, smile...you have Jesus"...when depression is grabbing at me and all I can muster is a prayer that I don't have to deal with this much longer.

Don't worry if you have said those things to me and please don't let it get awkward. I would rather have misplaced good thoughts than no thoughts at all, or malicious ones.

And now you realize why I don't sleep at night like I should. Because I see a funny thing like the aforementioned meme and I dissect it. Yes, I believe God is with me. If you don't, I'm okay with that...you can call it hope, or perseverance, or my little bit of solace. But so anyhow...yes, when we have nothing, there's something bigger out there.

But this picture is not made any more inspirational because we put that saying on it. Bottom line--no matter if God is all we have, cliff-sitting is dumb. Unless you like it and are safe, and then I don't judge you. Well...a little...who does that? I'm the one who watched EVERY SINGLE PERSON go through the Ropes course each time I did it. I did it...but waited to make sure no one died. I like the ground. I just don't want it coming to meet me at a fast speed.

Just as our well-wishes and thoughts are needed and appreciated, they don't make everything better, and for us to think so or act like it is just about as effective as putting nice words on this meme that makes no sense all together.

Yep, I'm overthinking...but if you know me, it's not really a surprise.

Until the next thought barrage hits me, be kind to yourself...sometimes you can be your own rescue. But make sure in the "hi-fine" society, that you don't end up isolating yourself.

Posting again...

Random thoughts...

When I'm out shopping late and see others doing the same, it seems weird. Not for me to be shopping, but for others to be...Hmmmm....

Oh, I got free eggs today. Albertson's has this new app...ANNNND for the stuff that was out, the guy gave me rainchecks. Not half bad.

I don't know why I like shopping late at night. Maybe it's because it's more quiet, but somewhat busier, too. Or maybe I just like to think I've gotten out of the house for a moment.

I found K some concert wear tonight. Hope it fits her. I think it's much better getting stuff now than a night before a concert or performance. Which we do almost every time. So with my luck, because I planned in advance, nothing will fit.

Oh, if you have some extra thoughts/prayers to send, please send them K's way. She's having some medical tests done this week and next. Only took us a MONTH to get them scheduled. No matter the results, we have a plan but know our Creator has THE plan.

I TOLD you these were random thoughts.

Oh, and I've never yet been able to find out if penguins burp. 

Oh my old friends...

Oh...you thought I was talking about you? I'm talking about my friends anxiety, depression, despair. Why do I call them friends? They let me know I'm alive. That I'm fighting. That there's more to life than getting beaten over and over and over again.

I wish they didn't like me as much or show up unannounced as much as they do. You know THOSE type of friends. But yeah, I would like to see them every once in a while so I would know how my life has changed because of their existence. But I don't let ANY of my friends dictate what I do, who I see, what I feel...and I'm learning it's okay to do the same with anxiety, depression and despair.

Isn't it ironic?...Don't you think?

Irony....life is very strange if you only have YOUR views and only listen to or appreciate the views that agree with you.

I must admit I didn't watch the debates the other day.  I tend to believe that politicians will say anything and everything to get elected and then get amnesia the very first day of office.  The irony about the debates is still bugging me and then more things added up since then, so of course I'm going to blog about it.

There were some inflammatory comments at the "main" debate--surprise, surprise.  What I'm cracking up about is that the people who are yelling the loudest about the inflammatory comments are the ones who have said the very same type of comments about the commentator.  So, let me get it straight...it's okay to say hateful things if YOU'RE the one saying them, but if someone who you don't even LIKE or agree with says similar, an apology is required to the SAME person you were just talking smack about the other day?!

Oh, irony...how you make me laugh!  A while ago, I apparently pissed some people off because I stood up for someone who made some mistakes but didn't need to be bullied nearly as much as a group of adult women were bullying.  As a result, some people whom I had supported in doing good things got mad at me and *oh the horror* BLOCKED me on facebook!  Ack!  I cried for days!  Um, yeah, noooo...*NEWSFLASH*--high school ended years ago.  What truly cracks me up is that today, I noticed one of these people commenting on a mutual friend's facebook...which means....oh goody!! I'm no longer "blocked".  Life is now worth living.  Now, off to block her!  You see how it works?  And, yes, I am using humor to drive in a point.

More irony...I try and live my life the way I should.  I slip.  I'm not perfect.  But if you know me, you know 9 times out of 10, I will step up for the "little guy" and try and make sure justice is done as much as possible.  I used to be involved in a lot of fundraising for people in need, but I have little tolerance for people who need help turning around and then being rude and mean.  And, yes, I called someone on it.  Go figure, I helped raise over $2000 between fundraisers and personal gifts to her and her family, I thought I could ask her why she thought she should be throwing stones when living in a glass house.  You got it.  BUHLOCKED!!! And there was an awesome haters club for a while.  I almost joined under a pseudonym.  But guess what?  Irony hit again...because when I got sick and my family needed help, I didn't have to ASK for a fundraiser like she/they did.  God and my awesome friends took care of me.  Because, to quote an awesome literary genius *eyes rolling* "haters gonna hate, hate, hate hate hate....but I'm just gonna shake shake shake...shake it off".

And the irony of this post?  Anyone who REALLY knows me knows that I hate it when people hate on me and my family and I DO lose sleep when I can't figure out what I've done to draw the hateraid.  I've lived knowing someone I put YEARS of time and effort into has hurt me and my family by words and actions for a long time.  I know what is being said about me...I know what is being told to friends about me and people I love.  And it hurts.  Bad.  

So the irony is...these "petty" issues don't even bug me all that much in comparison to giving almost everything I have and love to try and save someone, and yeah, the irony is...I can save people I don't even know, and lose the one I needed to save the most.

So there it is....and one of the main reason I say Life Inhales.

Blog try #5329582305

So, I have opinions, I just suck at posting them on a regular basis.  My life has been a little more than "interesting" this past year, and I just barely make it from day to day sometimes without trying to figure out what I've done and to whom, that things are so messed at times.  I guess I need to be okay without knowing. Trust the unseen. Know there's a plan. It's easier to say that than to live it in real life.

I have said for a while that I am an equal-opportunity hater.  I'd also like to think I'm a fair pisser offer.  If you're mean, it doesn't matter who you are, what you look like, etc...I don't have time for you. 

Well, hang onto your seatbelts, because here comes my latest rant and you may need to either hope the seatbelt holds, or that it gives and expels you into that great blue yonder.

So, here's my latest set of thoughts.

Be who you are and own it.  Anything else, and I don't have time for you and your sniveling.  If you're going to be straight, gay, bi, Christian, agnostic, atheist, other religion, homeschool, unschool, other school, prolife, prochoice, hunter, animal right activist, um, you get the point....OWN IT.

However, don't expect to be able to change my way of thoughts, very much in the same way I will respect your belief system and not try to change yours'.  Unless you're a meanie poopie head.  Then your arguments are invalid and don't count.

Please understand, when I say "own it" I don't mean "flaunt it" or "throw it in people's faces".  There's something to be said about a deeply held conviction when you don't have to be ostentatious to prove you hold such.

I've warned for years that one should not bring me into an argument assuming I will be on one's side.  To assume that is just as faulty as assuming that I am overweight because I am gluttonous.  Both examples also would prove how much one truly does NOT know me.

So, I'm about to piss a lot of people off.  I ran through this with my husband, and he teased that I may not have ANY friends after this.  Actually, I hope this does make some people mad.  At themselves.

Social issues that are dividing in nature should be kept under tight control.  In other words, hold your convictions.  Own them...but be careful in sharing them because you could isolate the very person you NEED beside you in times of desperation.

Here is where I start really stepping on toes, so if you don't want to know, stop reading here.

On such hot topics as gay rights and unions...if you're not gay, don't know any gays, don't love any gays, don't want to marry any gays, then you don't have an opinion and you need to zip it.  Extending rights to people who just want to love each other will NEVER diminish the rights of anyone else trying to love each other.  Now, on that same issue, unless you want me and MY honey playing grab-ass and tonsil-hockey in public in front of YOUR children, please do not do this in front of my kids, my family.  I have NO need to bring my bedroom outside of my house.  I am secure in our relationship and I hope you can obtain that same security in your relationship. 

If you are liberal or conservative or just don't give a crap, please stay respectful.  Such terms as "stupid" and words that tear down do not do anything to make your point.  They make you sound uneducated and actually diminish whatever important issue to which you were trying to bring focus.  Own your charisma, but really?  Being mean?  You are bigger than that.

Here's a personal issue...and, yes, I am going to go there....Abortion...Once again...this is a very personal choice....and if you don't have a uterus, or you could be a help to someone facing this decision, or you could be the other part of this decision making team...but if you don't know what it would be like, if you can't imagine it, than please, save your judgement.  It is NOT yours' to decide.  If you haven't ever been raped or faced a life-threatening issue when pregnant, please do not pretend that you would know what you would choose.  And if you're not willing to take and raise a baby from a mother in a crisis pregnancy, please spare us your hate-mongering signs.

If you believe in Jesus, act like it.  If you're a moral person, own it.  If you have some brain inside your head, some version of right vs. wrong, be nice already.  Your treatment of people far overweighs the beliefs you claim, and you may actually minimize your message the moment you open your mouth. 

I'm not the moral compass--far from it.  I mess up.  I have made poor decisions in my life.  But I have made far more positive decisions, and one thing I've learned is that all of us, as long as there's breath in our lungs, have a chance to change our destiny.  But all of us should have the chance to live the life we want.  If we're not hurting anyone, what can it hurt?  I'm fully expecting that all of us will have to answer for our decisions in the end, and it's an individual appointment.  No one will be there with you.  Here on earth, though, think of it this way....if you wouldn't want it forced on someone else...don't force it on anyone else.  You're not going to be the one to have to answer for anyone else...so just be kind to your fellow earth inhabitants.

Frustration, aggravation, and.....

life....